Influencing and controlling are two different things. Those who are transparent, selfless and enterprising have the power to influence and those with the wealth and muscle-power have the position to control.Influence happens from the receiving party and control happens from the doer party. Influence creates inspiration. Control can inflict artificial fear and orderliness. An influencing personality is empowering and human-friendly while the controlling personality makes others choke and is position-friendly, meaning they experience happiness by controlling.
The Pandavas had great influence over their subjects but the Kurus were controlling their subjects. Those who had the influence were thrown out of Hastinapura and the reigns were, although temporarily, in the hands of those who knew how to manipulate. On the other hand, Krishna, When he moved around with people, had no ruling position. He was neither King, not the commander of the Yadavas. But He was the most influential person. He had affection for the people.
Kamsa had the power of position; therefore he was always worried about losing his position. With position comes the fear of losing it, and when lost, it gives rise to pain and madness.
It is better to have a positive influence over people than the fear of losing power in oneself, leading to creating madness for oneself and others. The Pandavas lost their position but never did they lose their influence. Kauravas never lost their power but had zero influence. Eventually, they lost power too so whatever influence they did have due to their power was also lost in war. Whatever power the Pandavas had, they used it wisely to increase their positive influence. When they lost everything in the gambling match, they still held the wealth of influence.
One must choose wisely, so that he can rise easily when position is taken away, instead of succumbing to madness. Pandavas lost power many-a-times but they came out victorious. Kauravas were anxiety striken even by the thought of losing power. So they were influenced by their own fear and had no time and interest to influence anyone else postiviely.